On the Edge of Becoming

On the Edge of Becoming
I’m on the edge of accomplishing something great. 
Of walking into the fullness of the vision. 
Here. I. Am. 
And all I need do next... is step. Right. Off. The. Cliff. 
To enter into the free fall state where magic lives and is calling my name. 
Daring me. 
To jump. 
I used to resist the siren's call, believing it would lead to certain death. 
But each new day has proven that divine power will protect me time and time again. 
And what once presented as wisdom, gradually revealed itself as fear. 
Now, God has enlarged my heart to contain the knowledge, skills, wisdom, and courage to take off and fly. 
I know now that I didn’t need to spend so much time learning what doesn’t work. 
I needed to gain the confidence that time and experience have gifted me. 
And I have learned is that there is something much riskier and more dangerous than jumping. 
Not jumping.

 

I have been thinking about that electric excitement of anticipation, that moment right before I take the plunge and embark upon a new adventure. It is filled with opportunity, the potential to attain what I most want. And at the same time, it is  shrouded in uncertainty, which means I can either fill the undefined space with excitement for the best that can happen or dread of the worst that can happen. The stakes are so high, when I weigh the pro's and con's, it might easily conclude that it is wisest to avoid the risk.

For me, autumn always feels like a time of new beginnings, and this year, the paradigm has shifted in a meaningful way.

Until now, I had approached life from the standpoint of goals to be achieved; to hit specific metrics like people reached, members enrolled, projects completed, monies raised. And this has worked amazingly well for my academic and professional career because that's largely how that world is constructed. You're meant to hit specific milestones to obtain the rewards and success in the driving business culture in the Western world.

But writing poetry these past few months has opened up a view into another world that has existed all along, right alongside the other, but was invisible to me precisely because it didn't operate in the way I was trained to believe was the only way. 

In my creative world, it's not so much about reaching specific goals as it is about undergoing transformation. I had heard people saying it's not the destination, but the process, but I couldn't quite grasp how to feel good about just processing without a desired result... until now.

Gentle Goals

Julia Cameron, author of The Artists' Way, writes about gentle goals. Her premise is that there is this wall of fear that blocks our creativity. And when we look at the big scary end point, we put so pressure on ourselves, we become paralyzed and can't even begin. But she found that if writers just coaxed themselves to show up at the page to write one paragraph or painters eased themselves to stand before the canvas for five minutes, then something magical would happen... they had lowered the wall of fear so much that they could easily scale it, and the momentum of beginning would carry them far beyond the gentle goal they had set. 

Courageous Next Steps

A second technique that has also transformed the way I define achievement and is revolutionizing the way I approach not just creative work, but business as well, is courageous next steps. Instead of defining success by a numerical outcome, I am defining it in terms of what I value more than numbers: courage. I focus on taking an action that gets me closer to the desired result and requires me to exercise courage. And I'm finding it to be infinitely more satisfying than numerical accomplishments. I still measure the numbers and value the information, but  for me, now success is defined by taking courageous action.

Yesterday, I went to a drum circle at Native Spirit Lodge on Ventura Boulevard, a major commercial corridor in Los Angeles. I took the courageous step to read the owner my poem, Elementary Identity (click here to read), since my references to nature are a point of commonality with Native American spirituality. I thought he would like it, and he did. He saw the resonance with his values and offered to display it in the room where the drum circle is held. If all goes well, that one courageous conversation will result in thousands of viewers soon to be seeing my work in my first exhibition.

That is how life becomes poetic.

One gentle goal, one small step. More satisfying success. 

 

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1 comment

How beautiful!

Maryam Zar

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